Archive | January, 2014

that’s one way to put it

15 Jan

“Mommy, that man needs a hooker.”
-Kingston, age 3
He needed a hook for his action figure to hang on a “zip line”

“I’m a pothead!”
-Justin, age 2
He put a pot on his head, therefore he was a pot-head

“Mommy, look! Gabriel gave me his pile of shit!”
-Sofia, age 2
She was trying to say “pirate ship”

“When it’s cold outside, I get hard”
-Gabriel, age 3
He meant that his hands tighten into fists and his body shivers

“Mommy, don’t tickle me in my tits!”
-Tanya, age 2
I meant armpits

“Daddy, Luke Skywalker is going to whack off Darth Vader”
-Kingston, age 4
I assure you, he wasn’t talking about the porn version of Star Wars

“I’m a swinger”
-Gabriel, age 3
When asked what he likes to do at the park