Archive | October, 2013

oh hi there

21 Oct

We’d only been outside for 15 minutes when the kids decided it was time to go back inside and play with their tablets. When I was their age I was begging my mom to let me go outside and complained when she whistled for us to come back in. Clearly I’m failing as a mom.

“Hold on guys. Mommy’s just gotta get rid of these leaves I raked and then we can go inside,” I told the kids as I regretfully put down the rake. It’s not that I’m a huge yard work fan but I had only raked about 10% of our very large yard. “Oh well,” I thought to myself, “I guess I’ll have to finish it later. Perhaps during nap time.” A little whimper escaped my lips when I realized that I would be doing yard work while the kids took blissful naps.

I picked up the leaves I raked and put them in the trash can we use for yard waste. Then I brought the full trash can over to the fence and emptied it over the side (yes, I dump my yard waste over the fence into never never land instead of packaging it up in those neat little brown paper bags for the garbage man, quit judging me). As I shook the trash can over the side of the fence, I noticed a stubborn leaf clinging to the trash can for dear life. I reached out to grab the leaf when I realized it was a spider. A very large spider. Continue reading


bad mommy

10 Oct

I lie to my kids.  Like, all the time.  Go ahead, judge me.  It’s okay. I judge me too.  But before you call family services on me, hear me out.  I lie about little stuff.  Like telling my kids that Chuck-E-Cheese’s is closed and that’s why we can’t go, not because it’s a week night and 30 minutes before bedtime and Mommy is already in her PJ’s.  Little stuff.  Like, “we left your costume at Grandma’s so you can’t wear it” instead of “no, you can’t wear your costume for the 100th time this week and get it all dirty and probably rip it before Halloween.” Because when I tell them the truth, screaming fits usually ensue.  Or sometimes, the kids get clever and try to convince me why I’m wrong saying things like “but I won’t get it dirty, Mom, I promise,” and then I feel like an ass trying to convince my child that they can’t be trusted and most definitely they will get it dirty.  So instead, I lie. So as not to hurt their self esteem.   Continue reading